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Socializing Your Shy Dog:
Whether by isolated living, poor handling, or genetics, shy dogs need to receive behavioural modification in order for them to be socially adept.
Whether the dog was allowed to remain unsocialized within a private home, or received rough handling which has left it distrustful, or has been a neglected breeder dog, all share the great need for human understanding and careful handling. It is going to require time and patience in order for the dog to learn to trust.
Some dogs will respond rather quickly, others can take many months or years, others never come around. Some may never become fully confident and trusting. Some become confident around family members, but remain aloof & distrusting of strangers.
What You Need to know for Socializing Your Shy Dog:
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Timing
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Development
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Feeding
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Housetraining
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Name
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Socializing
1. Timing
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Allow the dog to progress through socialization lessons at his/her own pace. If it is very shy of you, allow the dog to approach you when s/he is comfortable doing so.
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2. Development
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A shy adult dog needs to be considered to be at the mental development of around a 6 –week old puppy and should be treated similarly. Much will be new and scary to this dog. S/he may have never experienced the normal household sights and sounds that we (and most dogs) take for granted.
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The whole transition to a social environment may be very traumatic and overwhelming. The dog will likely need some quiet time to settle down and process all the new things that s/he is being exposed to.
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Provide the dog with a den (preferably a crate) where he can “hide” and safely observe the household routine. See Crating. Use “time out” in a pen/crate regularly. Close the door for short periods to allow him to relax and de-stress. When s/he is spending these short timeouts in the crate, ignore the dog. Although it is tempting to keep the dog with you and cuddle it all the time, be sure to give the dog his/her space and do not crowd it with your need to pamper. It is very stressful for these guys to go from nobody to suddenly being the center of attention.
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Always move slowly and speak softly around the dog. Pick him up gently if he/she is a small dog—many dogs resort to fear biting when startled or scared. Keep children away as much as possible. See if the dog will accept food or treats from you – this is a good “first step” towards gaining his confidence. If s/he will not accept them that is okay, as he gains trust and confidence in you he will start to take them. Don’t push it.
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Introduce new sights, sounds and people and other pets slowly. Having never heard a vacuum cleaner, door bell, telephone etc these things can be terrifying to the dog. THINK before turning on the food processor, may be a good time for a time out when you know you will be using something the dog has not heard or seen before. Give him time and permission to explore his surroundings. It is not necessary to immediately correct him when he investigates things that will be future forbidden things…let him look them over. Chances are he will not bother them... he just has never seen anything like that shoe (or magazine, vase or whatever) before. But be prepared to immediately stop him if he DOES start to bother anything. (Yes, we warned you it was going to take time and patience)
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Enroll in obedience school. Manners are wonderful, but more importantly when dealing with shy dogs is the ability to create confidence through obedience exercises. When you call the school let them know that you have a shy nervous dog and that you are looking for socializing and confidence building along with manners. The instructors will then be able to help you with anything that may come up.
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Remember there are three reasons to go to obedience classes.
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1) For the socializing with new dogs and people in a controlled environment.
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2) You learn how to train your dog to the best of your ability for this dog.
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3) You have a live resource of the instructor right there every week that you can ask help of. They see your dog and see how it is reacting to different situations.
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Introduce other pets slowly, closely monitoring the interaction. See Dog Intros. Try to ensure neither pet feels threatened by the other. You should have someone hold each pet as you do this and repeat for several days until they begin to accept each other. If it is another dog take both out for something they would enjoy like in the yard or going for a walk if your shy dog is ready for that. If good things happen to both of them when they are around each other then they learn to accept and like each other. If someone gave me $100.00 every time I saw you I would learn to like you real fast, it is the same for dogs.
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If either pet shows aggression to each other use a verbal NO and then separate them and try again later or another day. Having another pet can be an asset to you because the shy dog sees how the other pet interacts with you. This can be a positive example for your shy dog, by giving the attention to your other pet and using a happy voice, your shy dog may come to check it out – great- if not he will still learn by observing.
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3. Feeding
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Feed shy dogs separately from your own dogs for the time being. Many unsocial dogs have had to compete for food and you do not want to add this stress to your shy dog at this time.
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Simply feed him by himself for the next while. Most people won’t do this but it really does help with forming a bond with your shy dog and that is hand feeding his meals to him for the next two weeks. This causes the dog to be near you and see that your hands and you hand out food so it is another good thing coming from you to the dog.
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4. Housetraining
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PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE. Remember most shy dogs have been left outside or in kennels all day and have not been housebroken. All they know is that they can go to the bathroom whenever and where ever they want. He has never been taught to hold it, and has no concept of the idea. See Yelp Line / Dogs / Submissive & Excitement Urination.
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It can take months to see any headway in this area.
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Take the dog out frequently, praising him when ever he goes. Always take him out upon wakening, and after eating.
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Keep a very close eye on him when he’s loose in the house—the more accidents he has in the house, the harder it will be to get the idea across. DO NOT RUB HIS NOSE IN IT, or scold him. When you catch him in the act (I repeat- when you catch him in the act) tell him NO and immediately take him out side and
encourage him to go and reward him when he does.
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Crate the dog whenever you are gone or busy,- dogs do not like to soil where they sleep so while he may mess his crate up at first ( again that is all he has ever known) once he figures out that he doesn’t HAVE to he’ll start to get the idea. Again Patience and praise.
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Accidents will happen – simply take him outside and tell him to GO POTTY (or whatever word you want to use). Don’t make a big deal out of the accident – but DO make a big deal of it if he goes outside as requested. Clean all accident spots with a neutralizing cleaner to remove all traced of his scent.
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This is another area where existing dogs can be beneficial in helping train the newcomer. As he goes out with them and sees them doing their business, it will help him understand what it is you’re asking of him. When you put your shy dog out in the yard it is a good idea for the first few days or even the first week to leave a leash on because a shy or scared dog is very hard to catch even in a small yard and if the dog suddenly gets scared and does not let you near him it is easier if you can step on the leash to catch the dog and then work on him coming to you.
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5. Name
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A name is important to establishing communications with the dog. It also helps him to feel like a valued member of the family. Select something that both of you are comfortable with. Use it often and reward when the dog starts to listen to it or respond to it.
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6. Socializing
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Contact with people other then the immediate family should be discouraged until the dog is comfortable with your family, and has developed some trust.
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Once the dog is comfortable and secure in your home and with your family, now is the time to begin socializing him with other people. Invite a friend over to visit and slowly introduce them.
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If the dog is timid, let him make all the advances and check the newcomer out. Have your visitor ignore the dog like it is not there and when the dog feels comfortable he will come forward to smell the visitor. When he does this your friend can offer him a treat, if the dog backs away scared do nothing let him leave and he will try again.
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The important thing is to not pressure the dog to meet new people. Let him see that you think this person is a friend and that you don’t care if he meets them or not. This will go along way to building your dogs confidence when he is not forced to do something that scares him.
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Be patient this may take a few visits before the dog feels comfortable enough to take a treat or even to come close. If for each visitor the dog is never forced to meet them and the visits all go well your dog will start to come forward quicker and become more confident with each guest.
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If you see that after a little while that your dog is starting to act stressed with the new person then remove the dog to another room or their crate for some time out and let them de-stress. Some shy dogs can only handle a very short period of time with new people especially the first few time.
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It can take awhile before your dog does not feel threatened by a new face in the house. If when the new person comes in and your dog starts to bark and even growl, ignore this.
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Do not reprimand because this will cause the dog to be even more unsure with a stranger. Do not grab his collar. If you are unsure how he will react with a new person coming into the house have him behind a baby gate or in his crate and let him out when all the excitement of a new person entering the home has calmed down. If you don’t normally grab the dogs collar and you do that when someone comes over this sends a signal to the dog that this is different and he must be on alert. So what you have done is made it more important then it should be.
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One of the most stimulating times for a dog is when a stranger enters their home. For a shy dog it is very stressful because they are battling protecting their home and being afraid. Take that decision away from them by removing them or having them behind a gate. Do this BEFORE your friend comes over.
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Once he is comfortable with strangers in the home environment, you can begin taking him out to public places. Parks and a pet store that allow dogs in.
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The first time in a store just walk him through and then out. Again no pressure. After you have done this a few times, stop and talk to the employee but still have them ignore your dog unless your dog is showing signs of wanting to meet them. Have them give him a treat and if the dog allows a pet.
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Remember one of the biggest mistakes people make with shy or nervous dogs is to pet them or comfort them when they are scared. DOGS DO NOT TAKE COMFORT FROM US. If you pet your dog when he is scared you are rewarding him. When he is a good dog you pet him to let him know that. IF he is scared and you pet him you are saying GOOD DOG.
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What you want to do is distract him by saying his name getting him to look at you or to do a command like sit or shake a paw. Now you can reward that and you have also gotten him to respond when he is scared so it makes what he is scared of not so important.
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When your shy dog is really scared, if you can get him to focus on you it makes it easier to help him over his shyness or at least to get him out of the place or situation where he is not comfortable.
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While there’s a lot of work involved in rehabilitating a shy dog, the work is not nearly as great as the rewards. Your dog will slowly come out of his shell a little more each day and you’ll see him begin to develop into a beautiful creature with endless love. Be patient, be persistent, and be calm…
Know that a re-adjusted shy dog is a treasure that bestows many rewards.
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